NFL Uniforms Ranked
January 2016

The appearance of the Seattle Seahawks at TCF Bank Stadium reminds one of how awful some of the uniforms worn by NFL teams can be. The Seahawks’ uniforms rank on or slightly above the most hideous in the NFL. To qualify for this distinction, uniforms must have crude numerals, weird color combinations, lack of coherent concept, and/or any of the above.

Based on a 20-point style system, here is a ranking (best to worst) of current NFL uniforms:

Chicago (20 points) – Best in show for more than 75 years.

New York Jets (20 points) – Add points for great throwbacks.

Cincinnati (19 points) – Creatively innovative tiger incorporation.

Indianapolis (19 points) – Hail the Old Reliable.

Green Bay (19 points) – Bad throwbacks cost them a point.

San Diego (18 points) – Lightning bolts forever.

Kansas City (18 points) – Only when red pants appear in road games.

Houston (18 points) – Uniform designers deserve praise.

Carolina (18 points) – Rating contingent on absence of baby blue pants.

New England (17 points) – Drop silver; return to red, white, and blue.

Buffalo (16 points) – On the right track, but execution poor.

St. Louis (16 points) – Better when employing throwbacks.

Atlanta (14 points) – Once innovative, now dated.

Pittsburgh (14 points) – See Atlanta.

Dallas (14 points) – See Pittsburgh.

Minnesota (12 points) – Nike fashion slaves.

New Orleans (11 points) – Never stylish.

San Francisco (11 points) – Just plain blah, but black look abominable.

Denver (11 points) – Disappointing.

Oakland (11 points) – Yawn.

New York Giants (10 points) – Old-school ugly.

Philadelphia (10 points) – Dreary.

Tennessee (10 points) – Why?

Cleveland (9 points) – Slight improvements.

Miami (8 points) – Strictly vanilla.

Detroit (7 points) – What were they thinking?

Washington (7 points) – Need to dump racist helmet logo.

Arizona (5 points) – Just wrong.

Jacksonville (4 points) – Awful.

Seattle (4 points) – Dreadful.

Baltimore (2 points) – Meh.

Tampa Bay (0 points) – The worst.

Concern over today’s NFL uniforms include dizzy designers (especially those at Nike) who think they’re capable of inventing new typefaces; indistinguishable uniform numbers; and color schemes that hurt the eyes. Designers are blind to the notion that spectators want to quickly and easily identify players by number. Some refs have problems reading today’s fonts even when standing next to players.

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